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I'm going to start giving directions to my place from the awesome tree monster

I'm going to start giving directions to my place from the awesome tree monster



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I really despise the new ancestry.com  ads. Way to judge great grandma guys, way to play into the fears of the older generations.



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  • Having a stranger tell me my dress was tucked into my stockings is basically proof I need to give up on girly nonsense
  • @martinemde Such a fashion trend would recommend wearing underwear underneath one's stockings. There is no redemption. #
  • For this, I blame reading @TheBloggess somethingfound.net/?p=4369 


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Massive damn you autocorrect. Just told a coworker their help was hugely harmful. Meant to say helpful.



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  • My new favorite view of the Empire State Building above the trees of Bryant Park

  • These hockey fans are annoying me
  • This is my new favorite website tinyhouselistings.com little houses make me dream so big


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  • Learning to forage in central park and stumbled on a lion! #obscuraday @ The Great Hill

Learning to forage in central park and stumbled on a lion! #obscuraday

  • I'm eatting the woods!
  • My favorite of the Central Park shrubbery and such

My favorite of the Central Park shrubbery and such



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  • Wondering how much school these alter boys and girls miss doing funerals
  • @ChrisCavs on weekdays? A long time to be out of school regularly for child labor, no? How often did you do it? #
  • Catholic funeral in the AM, Jesus Christ Superstar on Broadway in the PM. I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere
  • Villains are always altos
  • @Herkolaos wouldn't that be sumfin #
  • The best part of JCS was when there was a technical issue in the middle of the big song, fade to black, apologies then a do-over.
  • …and back to the samovar


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  • Apparently "râpe à fromage" means "cheese grater" in French. Someone will now be referring to the act of grating cheese as raping cheese.
  • @Herkolaos Not wompwomping :) Immature giggle like that are slightly above (or below) academic explanations or etymology #
  • If you're ever making small talk with me, don't ask "so what's it like being named Nicole?" I will laugh at you and it will get more awkward


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Bjork butter!



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Morning tv fascinates me. But all this Meow press is annoying me. He's a turkish van people, 10-12lbs is not what he's "supposed to be"
 



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They say bad things happen in 3's. 3 in one hour might be a record.



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  • My inner nostalgic is loving @memolane #memomail
  • Is wondering why tuna oatmeal isn't a thing
  • @SOTMario

Coney Island Love Letter from Land of Nod Inc. on Vimeo.

  • @SOTMario I know exactly what you mean, I thought the same thing about the eargasm, bet it was the same guy.  #
  • @Documentally http://pets.com #
  • Was mildly charmed by the hapless fools at laundromat looking at the driers as if if they were spaceships until they took my wet laundry out
  • @MadelineSho bitches took my clothes out and put them on a bench. Then said "we thought you had left without turning the machine on"  #
  • I totally manufactured memories of eatting Stay Puft brand marshmallows specifically as a kid. Damn you Ghostbusters.
  • For when you gotta have pornographic oatmeal

For when you gotta have pornographic oatmeal



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Just wandering around a cemetery in an abandoned town called Doodletown

Just wandering around a cemetery in an abandoned town called Doodletown



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  • Why does this still happen?

  • #%*& my work computer doesn't use the same power cord as my home one. Well that should limit the weekend work a wee


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  • I started taking vitamins a few days ago and already feel better for it. I'm a flinstones kid at 33.
  • "I'm going to puke my pants" possibly the best phrase I've ever heard


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It's interesting to think that kids taking Flinstones vitamins may know nothing about the Flinstones at all



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A very scary man just said something about my pussy, choosing to think he knows @SnowDayTheCat



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  • I'm stealing your bathroom
  • Different perspective of the NYC skyline from Liberty State Park

Different perspective of the NYC skyline from Liberty State Park



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  • The Easter eggs are dyed
  • Little kids are terrible at board games and catch
  • I'm going to start a band and call it "crypts and shit"
  • @dannypayne it was something my uncle said that made me laugh #


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Goshdang geese. My dad just played Sully with a goose strike to his car windshield.
Expand



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  • Ya know that moisturizer you've been slathering on all month, it was actually shower soap. Said it right in the bottle, April fools!
  • @dotZaph no, i basically broke out in hives, thought it was dryer sheets, re moisturized and now basically have burns #


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  • People really wear hard rock cafe leather jackets
  • Dear Tourists, I'd like to introduce you to the concept of personal space. Ask a local if you are not familiar. In short, get out of my ass
  • @MarkDykeman hyperbole #


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The B25 schedule is an ongoing April Fool's Day joke @ MTA Bus B25 – Fulton Street/ Franklin Avenue



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  • "70s and 80s republicans liked science, Reagan was into space!"
  • It's hailing
  • Deli, Brooklyn, finally close to pj's

  • In which I have an Ikea shit fit. "I did everything right, smash, SMASH, I JUST DON'T GET IT". Except for the upside down drawer tracks.
  • Fact: Brute force doesn't make things fit, it just breaks them


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  • Watching men play football @ Dewitt Clinton Park

Watching men play football

  • The rain on the sidewalk grates smells like spring


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Chillin with the people of NJ Transit again, oh the things people say on their cell phones in public



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  • Everything smells weird this early in the morning
  • FYI – Clumsily stabbing yourself in the eye with the end of a bike handlebar is painful.
  • People of NJ Transit should really be a thing
    Cue it's a small world. Love running into old colleagues in far flung places like Princeton, NJ
  • @JerseyTodd one of these days we need to make it a point to run into each other, then again I suppose that wouldn't be as serendipitous #


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  • Got up at 7 this morning to start the slow cooker. Crossing my fingers that it comes out aight
  • Also, just got a call from my old dorm room phone number. What?
  • How could I have forgotten how brilliant "Being John Malkovich" is?


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  • The Empire State Building all draped in fog

The EMpire State Building all draped in fog

  • @ESB_lights we might be together and might have raced to post them :) #
  • @ESB_lights he beat me to it though #