• ‘ll be the one skipping down the street toward the bike shop. 2:01 PM
  • @faboomama I assure you it is a lot more pleasant than the terrifying image of my first ride in ages… and total first in Brooklyn :z 2:18 PM #
  • That was AWESOME 3:09 PM
  • he finally stopped offering unsolicited advice when i explained i was finger painting a bicycle. 6:28 PM

The Most Awesome Bicycle Reflector In the Universe


  • Think of the socks! AM
  • @ChrisCavs Thank you Chris. Amen brother! 12:40 AM #
  • @ChrisCavs don’t tell @garyvee but i’m too shy to say hi to strangers and i think it might be bordering on rude that i never say hello 1:42 AM #
  • the first bite of a banana always reminds me of the smell of spray paint. weird. 8:22 PM


  • Off to the @rshotel. You should be too. #
  • Better than yummy food, better than my improvised camera strap hair tie on the way home, seeing @jjprojects @banannie MrB @semipermgirl etc #
  • For the first time in months! #

Iniaitive: Global Database of Lost Socks


 *photo undersized to protect these socks from judgment


There appears to be an unmet NEED which remains unaddressed.

How is it that a database of lost socks does not already exist?


Lost socks are a global issue!

Who hasn’t lost their “other half”?

Throwing these socks out and replacing them is costly and wasteful.

Please lend a hand and have at it, my dance card of absurd unhatched ideas is currently full. 


 Outrage:  nearby your sock drawer mocks those less fortunate!


I did a brief google search.  If there’s one out there, it needs some SEO love. Let’s band together and address a crisis!



For the first time in months! 9:52 AM


  • On bed with Milan Kundera. 2:11 AM
  • I chose the accurate preposition I suppose. Uh oh, a two letter word made me feel indecent. What’s that about? 2:16 AM
  • Off to the @rshotel. You should be too. 5:22 PM
  • Better than yummy food, better than my improvised camera strap hair tie on the way home, seeing @jjprojects @banannie MrB @semipermgirl etc 11:52 PM

Now she's trying to necessitate getting another pet for name's sake. FML


  • I know for certain how much caffeine is TOO much caffeine and how little sleep is TOO little sleep. #dawn #wired 5:54 AM
  • @ZaphodCamden I’ll admit I am a sucker for the cute behaved ones and get excited when friends are ‘with beach ball’. No alien/GG hybrids? 6:10 AM #
  • RT @jjprojects: Looking forward to impromptu meetup drinks @RSHotel bar Wednesday from 6pm. Drop by if you’re in New York. 4:24 PM
  • The fail whale comforts me. HTTP Server Error 503. No available server to handle this request scares the crap out of me. 5:07 PM
  • @charleshope The was "mouth". I’d recently acquired gloves fit for handling foul & dangerous materials. 6:09 PM #
  • everyone is the butt of someone else’s joke 6:50 PM
  • I’ve come to identify this mood as the one which most frequently leads me to a haircut 7:34 PM
  • My inner Beavis and Butthead is currently watching NOVA "Monster of the Milky Way" 8:51 PM
  • "black holes are kind of the spice of the universe…and in our night sky" 8:53 PM

Once Upon A Time

Eclectic Eccentricity via the Modish Blog


Hearts, flowers AND whimsy.  The next time I need romantic advice you might find some rose petals scattered around me as I consult the original magic 8 ball of love.


They also sell those adorable love note/envelope necklaces I adore and may just have to bite Wankergirl's style one of these days and get one of my own.


I bookmarked some adorable hand knit scarves ages ago that I first saw in Daily Candy.  The shop itself was closed, but thanks to a referring link to I found myself browsing the Modish Blog in the wee hours of this morning.

"stop it or I'll send you back to the factory where they made you?" that doesn't even make sense. your logic sucks. just feed me. NOW!


  • trial and error and trial 12:52 PM
  • Prince, as "characterized" in Itunes – O(+> 1:38 PM
  • Just busted spazzing out to this song. That’ll teach you to look into my window. ♫ 1:42 PM
  • @cc_chapman Congrats and HUGS! Cheers!  3:42 PM
  • (via @langley) 3:49 PM
  • I just watched in horror as my cat fell off the fridge banging into a bicycle on the way to the floor (not on her feet). She "seems" okay 10:56 PM
  • i really don’t understand how people have babies. I mean physically…yes, but fundamentally…no. 11:01 PM
  • oh and your wedding politics bore me even more 11:10 PM
  • @ChrisCavs Gremlins was never meant to be a trilogy. 11:22 PM #


 Living on a one way street has shown me just how important it is to always look both ways before crossing. 6:17 PM


  • Just watched two sets of people turn around at train station when they couldn’t afford increasing ticket prices. Painful and isolating times 12:30 PM
  • The LIRR has become a sort of personal purgatory these past weeks. 12:37 PM
  • baby shower bathroom twitter shout out to @challaz 2:53 PM
  • @robblatt greetings from the 516, aka the "annex" 2:56 PM #
  • @jjprojects are you in NYC? 5:14 PM #
  • If I knew how to brake the humidity by way of a tribal dance of some sort I’d be doing it right now. 9:32 PM
  • @SamJagger Good call! Let’s impregnate the clouds Genghis Khan style. 11:46 PM #


  • the call to prayer sounded different just now. wondering if Ramadan has started. brought me back to similar experience last year. 5:06 AM
  • stating the obvious…stay tuned for some wicked weather updates from NY/NJ this afternoon. Sky is starting to sound like a bowling alley. 3:59 PM

Probably not the best place to fall asleep. There was no oxygen in the back of that closet.



  • @tapps Came home the other day to find that @SnowDayTheCat mastered the art of opening drawers and found her stash. Nip Everywhere. Fiends! 12:19 AM #
  •  Actually trying to do this ;p with my face turned out to be harder then I imagined. I’ll spare you the visual.12:47 AM

@ChazFrench kiss your sex life goodbye ;p   #

@tapps @moethecat don't tell her! tell me! i could use a guest account. #


  • that did NOT just happen. Why did I have to see it scamper and enter my apartment?!!? 2:59 AM
  • I find these fictional MTV "reality" shows fascinating in that I totally don’t get them. Gasp, have I gotten old? Maybe it’s the odd hour. 4:56 AM
  • I demand the weather to cool. I can’t stand to see another "exotic" insect anywhere in this house. This is (one reason) I left the woods! 5:04 AM
  • @ilovecpstyle That makes me so nostalgic! More More! 3:44 PM #
  • It is so miserably hot out that even my floors are warm to the touch. Summer, please go away. 6:25 PM
  • "Hell’s Kitchen" gives me waitressing trauma flashbacks. 8:35 PM
  • This whole bad luck thing is getting really old. Early AM interview, basement flooded, no hot water for tonight/tomorrow morning. 9:18 PM
  • consolation prize – using the last of the hot water to wash the deep conditioner I’d caked in my hair and planned to leave overnight. 9:27 PM
  • @jjprojects however, having @a_black_cloud follow me twitter offers some amusement 9:37 PM #
  • the sky is grumbling 9:42 PM
  • going to put on nicer pajamas should i get struck by lightening while sitting inside my apartment…because that’s how i roll. 10:01 PM

@robblatt and @theambershow Thanks for lending us the fan! I just hope it doesn't get me pregnant!


  • NYS Department of Unemployment is a pit of despair and unproductive time waste. Due to THEIR computer problem I don’t get 3 weeks of checks. 11:00 AM
  • Unemployment would rather drain Legal Aid Society funds and waste time. Outrageous and unreal. 11:05 AM
  • @sean808080 Precisely, as if there is a shortage of heartbreak. A predatory system draining time and energy best put toward finding a job. 11:30 AM #
  • Spammers invading my dreams. I dreamed that a friend was encouraging me to become a spammer, but they were speaking in spam lingo. Shudder. 11:38 AM
  • well played. the department of unemployment is not accountable for determinations, it’s the department of LABOR. 11:51 AM
  • @captaincrazy sums some stuff up "that’s like instead of learning boxing you crash a plane on an island and train for 15 years" 12:51 PM
  • RT @kosso: In need of some inspiration and motivation? 1:26 PM

  • I fired Franz this morning and already, a promising break in the clouds. Yay. 1:53 PM
  • Twitter Cops via @elliottcarlson 5:39 PM

  • I don’t remember learning about the pea soup layer of atmosphere in school. Then again some of my teachers were fond of skipping chapters. 7:42 PM
  • @theambershow @robblatt love Friendly’s as much as I do. OMG so good! 10:09 PM

@theambershow @robblatt love Friendly's as much as I do. OMG so good!

  • @samtaters dude YES! Mr Conehead! 10:27 #
  • OH "everytime I see a dumpster I think there is a baby in it" DARK 10:29 PM
  • Stargazing outside with@theambershow while inside @robblatt wrestles a refrigerator 11:55 PM

apples and doorknobs



As a kid I often turned to the “camera” and narrated.  I was mimicking what many of my beloved 80s television and movie characters were fond of doing.  In my own naïve way, I was often trying to explain things to “God”, because I was learning to pray and it was how I dealt with the concept of being watched all the time. 


Over the years I’ve had conversations with friends who shared similar behaviours growing up.  The pattern is common, the tide of adolescence brings self consciousness and awareness, and talking to oneself is generally taboo and at it’s worst, a characteristic of mental illness.  There are more socially accepted ways to indulge:  some of us blog, sorting things out before an audience real or imagined.  Some are comforted by a secret journal or write fiction, many of us have engaged in a monologue to our pets, and of course, psychotherapy is covered by most health insurance.  As a storytelling technique for entertainment, it’s been tried and tested in the way of talk shows, “reality” entertainment and (sometimes paranoid) fiction. 


This is hardly an in-depth exploration on how we articulate our “inside voice”, religion, psychology, or the many popular media we consume that hits on a shared nerve, nor a chicken or egg debate.  I was thinking about Jacques and Franz today and it seems as good a place as any to start.  Similar to our post-modern self-narration, it’s often more amusing to imagine our life’s story is unfolding at the hands of another. 


About ten years ago I was dating a wonderfully romantic and imaginative human being who titled the script.  He told me about how one day he was walking past a movie theatre musing about the same with his friends.  “The Truth About Cats and Dogs” was playing and in order to fit the title on the small billboard, it read “Truth Cats”.  From then on he dubbed his close friends truth cats.  All these years later I delight in the amazing folks I think of as truth cats and who remind me of the phrase’s origin.  I am doing the conversation and it’s source little justice in my description – but from that day forward there were many jokes about “El Gato” – the story, it’s author – Jacques, and the "truth cats" – the characters.


I often revert to explaining the crazier events of life by imagining who would have directed such a scene, not as a victim, but as an observer.  Some days it’s David Lynch, others Spike Lee.  Sometimes, a collaboration.  Occasionally the comparisons are musical, at times literary, sometimes they’re found in film.  This summer I’ve been thinking a lot about Kafka. 


Life is stranger then fiction and though it’s easier to hold the figurative writers and directors responsible for the more unpleasant circumstances, perhaps you can relate, hopefully in jest and know ultimately we’re really in charge.  Feet planted firmly in reality, head sometimes in the clouds, surrounded by pop culture and fiction, I voted Franz off the proverbial island today and I’m not really looking to replace him.



  • mostly, I just want to sit on a beach and throw rocks in the water 6:57 PM
  • @tapps Yes please! Trouble is it’s gotten dark and I can’t think of a single spot. Perhaps tomorrow :) 8:36 PM #
  • I’m adding giant water bugs to my "things that suck" list. 9:39 PM


  • Restful nap, back to day 4 of human ping pong. 7:31 AM
  • @jeffpulver Good Morning LI shout out from the Southern State 7:47 AM #

@jeffpulver Good Morning LI shout out from the Southern State on Twitpic

  • Despite the priest’s predictions my first "Aha moment" of the day involved a broken bathroom lock and a line of waiting relatives. 10:13 AM


  • RT @wankergirl: Its not even 10:30 (9am) and already I am talking about mouth sex. Oh Friday! 9:13 AM
  • Love This! RT @WhitScott: These are night shots done with lights on the fiesta. #fiestamovement (via @banannie) 9:37 AM
  • It is far too hot to run in a suit with a heavy bag. Want a high five from the LIRR ticket checker, but I don’t have the energy left to try.  2:11 PM
  • Open tweet to the cranky bastard I was sitting next to. Found another open seat. You can stop huffing at my audacity to sit in your row. 2:36 PM
  • I am repressing the impulse to beerjack the guy behind me. 2:44 PM
  • I dare not for fear I also wouldn’t repress the impulse to introduce my family to the stand up funeral comedy genre. 2:53 PM
  • Quality little brother time. Wish he’d let me record his rants on facebook and football, we agree on little but his counter has merit. 11:39 PM


  • I intend to annoy those near and dear by prefacing statements with FOR THE LOVE OF…SLEEP… you’ve been warned. feel free to adopt it 12:34 AM
  • the "cell phone paparazzi" document animal’s twisted reality 1:43 PM
  • open caskets are not cracker jack boxes #funeralhumor 6:03 PM
  • Little brother is taunting me with his far better unemployment bennies. Yes, it has come to this. 9:39 PM
  • @ChazFrench NJ trumps NY sizably, lower taxes too. 9:49 PM #
  • sickened that while I’m struggling to find a humble job, some fuck who killed animals gets hired to do what kids dream of, earning millions. 11:47 PM
  • I wonder how the rest of the team and Eagles fans feel. 11:59 PM


  • Whoa, what’s up with Saturn’s rings? 12:06 AM
  • I wonder if train station announcers are more prone to narrate similarly in their head 12:07 PM
  • Heading home with pockets full of heartbreak. If only it was as simple as turning them inside out. 5:28 PM
  • I always imagined I’d visit Green-Wood Cemetery for the first time as a tourist. 8:11 PM
  • something made me check my gmail spam folder tonight. found some non-spam in there. you might want to take a quick look if you use gmail. 9:07 PM
  • I really wish I could prevent the horrible sounds that come out of my mouth when I encounter upsetting insects.10:12 PM
  • # because knowing is only half the battle 11:47 PM


  • In the midst of grief, the only practical help I can offer is in helping find a good home/sanctuary for a 100lb tortoise. Ideas? 1:13 AM
  • Though I do appreciate first world sanitation, I resent 2:56am
  • residential trash pickup #ineedsleep 2:59 AM
  • this headline makes me uncomfortable "Ride the Endangered Species Carousel!" 10:59 AM
  • Interviewing in NYC August heat is brutal 4:51 PM
  • My Grandmother is horrified by phone number portability. She called it deceit and then asked me if I was a terrorist. Love Grandparents! 6:13 PM
  • writing a eulogy. wishing i could make it half as amazing as the person it is in remembrance/celebration of. 11:47 PM