twitter


  • My father has introduced me to the term "oxygen thief". We're having way too much fun applying it now. #
  • @northernchick I was punishing her for leaving me waiting in a parking lot in reply to northernchick #
  • Oops, my mom went to the wrong station after using a netty pot for the first time. She's so mad that I'm tweeting this. #
  • Waiting at the bus stop, actual text from my mom "Great I in ml was driving when you text Okay leaving now" #
  • @elliottcarlson we're back on rt 80, think I'm aight. #GTL in reply to elliottcarlson #
  • I hope this is just a fancy maneuver meant to avoid traffic #
  • @elliottcarlson Worse! We're on the Jersey tpke. in reply to elliottcarlson #
  • Suddenly terrified I got on the wrong bus…this is not the way to the 'rnts's house. #
  • ewe de toilette – when a public toilet autoflushes while you're still hovering over it #
  • I tried to outsmart Port Authority and got served. Bus stations universally suck. #
  • @wankergirl oh how I wish you were here this weekend – http://epicwinburlesque.com/ #
  • http://bit.ly/baqFRq OMG this is so hot – 24 hour library read-in #
  • I never thought I'd say this, but I am a lot happier catching the worm. 6am wake up seems to suit me. #