Trapped in my apartment


 

Trapped In My Apartment (Chapter 1), R. Kelly rewriten by Nicole

 

8 o'clock in the morning and sounds of hammering and sawing wake me up
I'm stretching and cursing in a bed that belongs to me
Then the sound of wood being thrown out the front door
Then I look outside and see a neighbor looking inside, he starts to talk to my landlord
Now I’m thinking about all the things I needed to do outside my apartment and wonder
How am I gonna get out with no stairs
I watched some tv, wrote a grocery list, did some dishes
Last night I could have run those errands when I got home but I put them off until today
Here I am trying to pass the time
Tried to take a nap, but the hammering was just too loud
Then I cleaned my cabinets looking for food
I needed to go food shopping today
Then I made a PB&J sandwich with what I had
Crept to the top of the stairs to see how bad it was
It was bad, there are steps missing
I said to myself “There is no way out”
“Man, I gotta get out!”
He is still working on the stairs
I got back into my apartment, closed the door
I read some blogs, checked my email
Looked out the window
The pile of wood is getting bigger
He’s knocking more stairs out
And now I'm in this apartment trying to figure out
Just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass out this house
And he hammers some more
And I tweet about my predicament
And @theambershow says I need to grow my hair like Rapunzel
And I reply to come with a ladder to rescue me
And she says she’ll bring a ladder and a dashing fireman
I start making piles of laundry to do
When I can get out again to go to the laundromat
I cleaned my spice rack, found some expired jars to throw out
Now my garbage is filling up
But I have to slow down my cleaning
I can’t get outside to throw the bag out if it fills up
Hammer
Saw
Hammer
Hammer
Saw
Hammer
Saw
Hammer
Staple
Staple
Wood being thrown
And I’m creeping around because my landlord is home
An he’s getting closer to my door as he finishes each step
And I get quieter
And more bored
I need to get out of the house and make the most of this day