two boots


Win!  Back in January I finally found THE boots.  I'd been searching for years to find boots I liked, that fit and were comfortable and didn't cost a zillion dollars.  If I could identify exactly what made these boots THE ones I'd been looking for, it probably wouldn't have been such an epic search.  They fit, they felt great upon first wearing with my funky nearly square shaped feet and torn arches.  They weren't full-on cowboy boots, but the brown soles made them versatile…along with the Midol I picked up at the store on the way back, I considered them a lovely cure for PMS.


As tends to happen as a walking citizen of NYC I wore them down and broke them.  When the heel cracked off I made haste to the nearest shoe-maker and was horrified when I picked them up to find:


Perhaps I should have been more specific that it was not okay to paint the heels black (and slop it all around the soles).   Nice "work".  And the search starts anew…

all on Celebrity Apprentice

It is a Sunday night.  I had a great day.  I was enjoying tonight’s episode of “Celebrity Apprentice” when I found myself spitting nails.  I am Furious.  Not by Donald Trump, not by the absurdity of reality television, not by the celebrities…


But by tonight’s sponsor.  all.


The stain lifter.  That’s all.


Idiots.  That’s all.


On tonight’s episode of “Celebrity Apprentice” I watched the participants of the show tasked with creating a “viral video”.  Sure, their ideas weren’t great, their execution…to take the idea of viral marketing and go down the path of shock and offense – not entirely seeing the big picture.  But, I also realize that as someone who does “marketing” I find everything I observe about how people perceive these terms: “viral” “guerilla” “traditional” “multi-channel” probably more valuable then I would personally define them.  I don’t know everything.  Though I consider myself pretty well-versed, I’m no expert.  I am sick of marketing rhetoric and I avoid taking the ole soap box out, but I just can't seem to help myself.


So, I will take a consumer’s view.  The marketers talked about their demographic, perhaps some of the conversation hit the cutting room floor at the hands of the “Celebrity Apprentice” editors, but all I know in the context of the show is that they are women over the age of 25.


Granted I haven’t seen their market research and I don’t know fully what their marketing plan is or the conversations and other tactics underway…shoot, didn’t I just say I wouldn’t approach my thinking as a marketer?  Okay, I am a consumer and in their demographic of women over 25.  I might even say  just by now knowing that, I’d suggest they target going after men.  How about targeting anyone that has to clean laundry?  What about those of us who live in cities and often buy what our Laundromat keeps stocked in the machine or what the closest deli has to offer?  Middle America loves kids and puppies, but I’m sick of them.  What about the green movement?  Detergents are a big point of condemnation.


So again, here’s a brand sponsoring an episode of a reality tv show.  As “viral video” is all the buzz, they’ve chosen to go this route for the content the show creates for them.  The marketers show their cards.  Guess what?  Turns out they are conservative.  I want to scream at my television as they sit with their mouths agape at the questions the celebrity teams ask them.  Clearly they haven’t thought this out.  They aren’t suiting the method with the brand.  They know “viral” is cool.  They want to be cool, but they are too scared to infect.


Meanwhile, Clint Black, a country music superstar (not my “demographic”) surprises me with a pervy innuendo involving masturbation and small penis size.  I am impressed.  The other team does their homework and goes with casting the vertically challenged since “midget” and “viral video” are mutually exclusive internet favorites.


The markers are freaked.  The fear in their eyes is palpable.  They don’t choose a winner between the two teams since neither really hit their demographic and both create “offensive” videos.


After the team’s finished projects are shown the first commercial is one for all.  It’s a standoff – ketchup vs. a bottle of all laundry detergent.  Is that the sort of thing they had in mind?  It’s not viral, it’s not edgy.  It’s pussy.


As a consumer of products that clean my dirty clothes, as part of the brand’s demographic, and as someone who often picks what’s on sale, what smells best and what is most available, I will be intentionally boycotting the brand all.  all presumably paid a lot of money to sponsor this episode, put forth a challenge and then condemned what came out of it .  I am so tired of companies who beg to push the proverbial envelope and then shrink back into small mindedness and obsession with political correctness.


If I have to go with one of the more convenient brands to purchase in my neighborhood in a pinch – I'll buy Tide.  It smells better anyway.

allergic to sleep


In 2005 I had a number of scary episodes where I lost my vision, or at least portions of my field of vision. 


An old blog post I wrote in the midst of it –



After numerous doctor appointments and tests I finally figured out the most likely cause.  Ambien.  Because I'd stopped taking everything I was on (only Ambien) and because it never happened again, my doctor and I figured this to be the most likely cause. 


My ability to sleep has not improved.  Rather, I can sleep – like a champ, but I never want to do it at night.  At night I get bursts of energy and my imagination is in top form.  I want to DO at night, not sleep.  Given this is modern reality, I work all day…so I'm often exhausted at night.  I find myself idle, but rarely giving in to sleep.  I constantly fight myself because I want to be productive when my mind is keenest, but by the middle of the week the body grows tired and above all I need to be productive 9-6.   I've tried for years to "reset my clock", read endless articles, tried disciplined regimens, changed diet and excise habits, gotten loads of advice, etc.  I'm up to about 5-6 hours a night which I can live with, but I know it's not ideal.  I hate feeling like I'm never in top form.


I found myself trying to reclaim my midnightish bedtime after I lost track of it for a few months.  I got some tylenol pm, which I also avoid because I am not very fond of pills and chemicals. 


I took it once last week, again once this weekend and then on Sunday night.  On Monday morning in the shower the old field of vision started narrowing.  My eyes grew swimmy and I expected a migraine.  Thankfully the headache didn't come, but I spent the entire day with intense anger and and a feeling of out of control rage.  I slept wonderfully last night.  Today I feel better, totally fine.  I couldn't help but wonder if there is a shared ingredient in ambien and ty pm my body is allergic to or just doesn't like. 


I continue trying to find an ideal schedule and routine that makes the most of my time awake.

My “Food Rules”

I will admit, I have a simple palate and I am super picky.  I’m not demanding – I can always find something, and you’d never know the following unless you asked – but I definitely have strong opinions on what I like and what I don’t.  I have lightened up over the years and taken a lot off the list, and I will almost always try something…but its run the gamut from causing break ups with some and inspiring amusement in others. 


Things I Won’t Eat

  • veal
  • lamb
  • ham
  • black beans
  • mushrooms
  • celery
  • zucchini
  • sweet potatoes
  • capers
  • olives
  • mango
  • grapefruit
  • apricot
  • almonds
  • cilantro
  • black licorice
  • fennel
  • sea bass
  • skate
  • catfish
  • caviar
  • sardines
  • cheesecake
  • brie
  • cottage cheese
  • cinnamon
  • jello
  • apple juice/apple sauce
  • Bailey's
  • coffee


  • Hot Liquids
    I reserve tea and soup mostly for when I’m sick.  I rarely enjoy either when I’m not sick.
  • Fruit Flavors in Hot Food
    No lemon on my seafood or fruity salad dressings, etc
  • Same goes for Nuts
    No cashew crusted salmon, fancy salads, etc
  • Raisins only eaten individually, never in a muffin, salad, or in granola
  • Pork
    I eat bacon (just not apple bacon), but don’t eat the “other white meat” like pork chops
  • Chocolate
    I enjoy the occasional milk chocolate or brownie, but for the most part I don’t eat chocolate ice cream, cake or chocolate syrup

*Apple Pie:  Pretty much the only example of cooked fruit and cinnamon you’ll see me eat

Don’t even ask me about delicacies like frog’s legs and sweet breads.  I think you can guess.